They’re a courtesy, not a requirement. I also think a lot of folks act like talking about a subject is a trigger. Real triggers can be ANYTHING. An enclosed space. A familiar smell. A loud noise. For me, it’s those damn perpetual motion machines my rapist collected. You know what isn’t a trigger for a lot of victims? ACKNOWLEDGING THAT SEXUAL ABUSE HAPPENS. It’s not triggering, it’s validating.
No one talks about the horrifying statistics. 1 in 3 girls, 1 in 5 boys, hundreds of thousands of adult victims walking around in the United States in fear of themselves and of others fearing them, too, if they found out. I’ve received thousands of messages from other victims, and not one found my story triggering.
Happy to be courteous about #tw tags when it’s on my mind. But the trigger warning police trying to hide the story I wasn’t given a choice in experiencing every day of my life? Remember which finger I’ve got on the trigger.
Please feel free to be as courteous with trigger warning tags as you like. Just don’t expect others to do the same. PTSD sufferers need clinical care, therapy, and support from loved ones, not hashtags.
The world is as horrible as it is magnificent, and only getting better because we shine light into the dark. Put on a pretty cape and face the hard realities if you want anything to change.
(P.S. Thanks for the question. No animosity towards you in this response, TiaT. I’m genuinely always happy to put my thoughts into words when asked.)#dean trippe #trigger warnings #ramble
It’s not guilt or revenge or whatever else creators like to impose on Bruce. He needed something that night that didn’t exist, so he became that thing. A superhero. He wrapped himself in the darkness he feared, and set out to wage war on all those who would threaten the innocent. It’s religious for me. Bill Finger’s Batman origin story is seriously the best story I’ve ever heard.
I love his friends and family, I love how his rogues reflect broken mirrors back at him, showing him the easier paths his trauma could’ve taken him down. But lately I’ve been thinking about why it was Batman over other heroes, and there’s a new thing I realized about him. Batman’s a character who could appear in a story and save a kid from being abused in any form. It’s hard to tell that story with Superman or Spider-Man. You could do it, but it’s almost like the crime in my own secret origin is too dark for them. I know those guys are big enough heroes to save us, and keep saving others, but Batman, being grounded in more of a real-world criminal setting—as much as I love seeing him in space or time traveling—Batman was born of a horrible crime, and fights crime in a city riddled with dark crimes. Those crime scenes can’t tarnish his boots the way they would Superman’s.
He knows how broken things are. He’s not hopeless, he’s making a difference, he’s saving the world on a regular basis, but he’s capable of true empathy with every victim, and even though he feels all the pain, he never, ever stops.
Batman is something else, man. He’s not an anti-hero. He’s an eight-year-old’s idea of what the world needed. And it really, really did."
Okay. Here are my thoughts. Just my thoughts.
(NOTE: To any Woody Allen fans who would rather get into a debate over the merits of evidence at this late date, you’re in a worse position than you think, but I’m not going to be devoting any time to proving that to you.)
I tend to believe victims’ first-hand accounts.
I understand some folks’ desire to rationalize, discredit, or dismiss the accusations in this case, as fans of Mr. Allen’s work, or due to some societal statute of limitations for giving-a-damn, but personally, having always been skeeved out by a fifty-something-year-old dude who could “fall in love” with a teenager he’d taken nude photographs of*, who he’d first met when she was ten, I’ve never really bothered to get into his movies**, because best case, he’s a creepy-ass weirdo.
I’ve read Dylan’s account (which sounds incredibly legit to me as someone who has experienced similar events and feelings) and two or three counter-arguments (which are filled with anecdotal nonsense and clear attempts to discredit the victim***), and I basically think anyone who doesn’t at least give the grown victim in this case the benefit of the doubt, should imagine telling everyone they’ve ever known that they were sexually abused as a minor. Really think about it for a sec. Consider how that might affect all your interactions with everyone you’ve ever known, forever.
Now expand your audience to everyone. People you haven’t even met. People you’ll never meet. People who will become important to you.
I know what that’s like, guys, and it’s big. It means opening your life up to being contacted by everyone with similar experiences (1 in 3 girls, 1 in five boys, millions of adults in the U.S.). It means eyes turning to see if you laugh at the HAHA SO FUNNY pedophilia joke in the show you’re watching.**** It means your once secret or speculative childhood trauma is now a part of every close friendship, every romantic relationship, and potentially every public appearance you make from now on.
Now imagine your attacker is wildly famous and beloved by his peers. So you’re going to be dragged through the editorial ink by people who weren’t there, don’t know what you do, and not only didn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t protect you, but DON’T EVEN BELIEVE YOU.
Bullet Point: If you don’t believe victims of sexual violence, you might as well be an accomplice.
I can’t know if Dylan Farrow was molested by Woody Allen, but she knows if she was, and she wrote this about it.
So I believe her.
*And it doesn’t matter that Soon-Yi wasn’t HIS adopted daughter, but his girlfriend’s. Seriously, if that distinction means anything to you, you’re gross.
**I think I’ve seen Matchpoint? Seriously, just the stink of attracted-to-children on this dude has always kept me away from his films.
***As a kid she referred to sunset as “magic hour”? So you think she had trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy? Or do you maybe think it’s because that’s what filmmakers call it, and she grew up around some?
****SOMETIMES I DO. Other times, I see dudes dressed as Pedobear at comic cons and nearly knock their fucking heads off.#dean trippe #dylan farrow #woody allen #child sexual abuse #tw #rant #ramble #something terrible